Ever Learning...

June 23, 2010 – Wednesday

Parenting is an interesting experience. Many times over the years I have been taught as I have endeavored to teach you children. I guess that's the case in many situations, not just parenting...the teacher learns more than anyone else.

For example, when Amelia was 10(?) and her soccer team really needed a coach, she asked Denzel to be her coach. Of course, I encouraged him thinking this would be a REALLY good thing for him to do for his sister. He kind of back-pedaled saying he was too busy. I told him, "If you are too busy to coach Millie's team, you inadvertently send her the message that you don't care about her."

Well, the Holy Ghost took my words and taught me with them. Dad and I had been talking a few days earlier about what I could cut out of my schedule since I was feeling VERY overwhelmed with all the things I was involved with...our balloon business, the wholesale food business, the bread business, AND seven kids! But there wasn't anything we could see we could cut out.

However, when the Holy Ghost replayed my words to me,"when you are this busy, you inadvertently send your children the message that they aren't important to you..." I felt slammed with reality. And, when the Holy Ghost talks, I listen! Within one week I had sold the balloon business, and given up my route with Wholesale Foods. We would find a way to make things work financially. And we did. I ended up helping coach Millie's team, and it was memorable!

There are MANY such circumstances I've been involved in with each of you children. I think I'm learning...I HOPE I'm learning... what the Lord wants me to learn.

Now, another case in point...last night Wyatt (Nat's boyfriend) and I had a lengthy talk about his decision to not serve a mission. As you can each attest, I have LOTS of feelings about the importance of a young man serving a mission. However, ultimately, each individual needs to make their own choices. (They get to choose, but they don't get to choose people's reactions to their choices.) As we talked about many different aspects, one of the things I shared was regarding our willingness to serve the Lord. If worthiness isn't holding us back, but we're not willing to serve the Lord, that may be just as problematic.

Anyway, as usual, I took my own words to heart and did a personal evaluation of MY desires and my life. Am I willing to do what the Lord wants? Are there things I'm holding back from the Lord? Do I serve Him in every way I possibly can, or are there things I need to improve? (Like visiting teaching, attending the temple more, reading my scriptures more...I AM doing good with my goal of not saying the "C" word anymore!)

So, this morning I had a cavity fixed by our new stake president, Dan Frei. I told him I've often remembered his example. He was surprised and said, "of what?" I replied, "A little over 4 years ago you finally achieved your dream goal of purchasing and owning an Elk Ranch. I knew you enjoyed hunting and that this was a dream come true. Then you were called to serve as a mission president, which was NOT what you had planned. And yet you were WILLING to put your goals, your dreams, your wants aside, to serve the Lord. Your example has been a BIG influence in my life."

At this point President Frei gave a small smile and said, "The day before we left on our mission, as I drove away from the ranch, I cried. It was hard. And yet, the ranch is still here. I don't have any regrets." And that mission to Brazil was for THREE years! He missed his only daughter's wedding. He sacrificed much. But he was willing. I hope I can always live MY life in such a way that I don't hold anything back from the Lord.

And I hope each one of my children will have the same desires to do what the Lord wants, even when it's hard, or inconvenient, or not the most fun, or even scary. There's one thing I DO know...we can NEVER give more to the Lord than He gives back to us. There may be times when it seems like the Lord is requiring too much of us. All I can say is, "TRUST HIM!"

Love,
Mom