Marriage Advice. . .

So, we have FOUR children married now, and only three left! Within the next 5 years we could have ALL SEVEN KIDS MARRIED!! Wow!!

With that said, I've thought a lot in the past several months about Dad's and my marriage...the things we've learned and experienced together, the joy and happiness we STILL share even after 30 1/2 years of marriage. Here's a few of the things I've thought of:

1. Dad and I started out loving each other...a lot!! That's a great start for any marriage! ^_^ Because of that, we really wanted to make sure our marriage was a good one. From the time we were engaged, we have been interested in learning from "marriage advice" that others thought was important. We heard many versions of the "toothpaste tube being squeezed the wrong way." We learned the importance of differences and to be FLEXIBLE!! Just because you grew up with something one way, and it feels like the "ONLY WAY," don't make your "different-ness" a battle ground to die on.

Here's one example that took me awhile to learn...Dad grew up with a "dolly" and I grew up with a "hand truck." So you can imagine my need to PROVE that what he was referring to and what I was referring to was definitely NOT a dolly...it was a HAND TRUCK! We didn't "fight" about it, but I wanted to prove I was right. I found several catalogs that called it a "hand truck" complete with a picture, proving my point.

Whether I was right or not, I was WRONG!! Luckily, before I drove that stupid hand truck into the ground too far, I realized my husband was getting bugged about my "know it all" -ness as he asserted a few different times "well, WE called it a dolly." And that really is the bottom line. Grandpa Hunt could have called it a "tram" and that's what it would have been to Dad. Did I honor my husband by driving the point and making it an issue? No!! However, once I became aware that I was accomplishing something I REALLY did NOT want to do, I stopped, apologized and we have learned to laugh about our different-ness. He does NOT have to call it a hand-truck, and I often find myself calling it a dolly!

Would I EVER want "being right" to be the thing that puts a wedge in my marriage. NO! Don't let it be in yours, either.

2. Kindness cannot be overrated. There are LOTS of traits that are important in a marriage: trust and love are HUGE in my book! However, I had never really thought about "kindness" until I was married to my husband. Dad has so many wonderful traits that help make our marriage wonderful. But his KINDNESS to me has reaped him HUGE rewards. I am dedicated to him, love him, admire him, and am willing to serve him and try to make his marriage to me a joy and a blessing and NEVER a regret. So many times we get what we give. What came first? The chicken or the egg? Well, I can honestly say, our marriage is as happy as it is because of the kindness of my husband.

I have said several times to the girls, "When you get married, I hope you find someone as good as your father. Look for someone who is KIND!" I truly believe that. Boys, if you will find a way to set EGO aside, and truly find a way to be kind in everything you do with or for your wife, it will come back to you an hundred-fold! It won't always be easy. There have been a few times in the past 30 years that Dad hasn't been perfect. I can't remember what they are, but there is a teeny-tiny spot in my heart that remembers, and I feel extremely grateful for a good husband who has managed, in those slip-ups, to apologize and make things right.

Now there have been TONS of times that I have been emotional, offended, WRONG, etc., but because of the kindness of my husband, of taking MY PROBLEM on his back, it has freed me up to calm down, and learn to be a kinder woman. I am indebted to my husband for eternity!!

Well, that's only the tip of the ice berg, but it will have to do for now. I have HOMEWORK TO DO!!

Please just remember to LOOK FOR WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! Dad and I STILL do! And BE KIND!

I love each of you SO much!! I feel very blessed to be a part of our wonderful (and growing!) family!!

Love,
Mom