To improve family relationships, you might want to try one simple little thing:
When discussing problems, hurt feelings, irritations, etc., eliminate "YOU" from the vocabulary. For example: "YOU make me so mad! Every time I turn around you have left me another mess to clean up!" would become, "It makes me so mad when I clean something up and turn around and find another mess made."
The "you" language comes across as an attack...and maybe we feel like attacking right at the moment. However, DON'T do it!! If we can exercise self-control with this one little word, I promise you will see great improvements in your relationships.
Set a goal now to NEVER use the word "YOU" when discussing difficult things. It may take awhile to get used to, but you will be surprised at the results if you keep it up.
Love,
Mom
1 comment:
Just learned about "I" messages the other night in a Book of Mormon class. Example from the scriptures: 1 Nephi 5:2-6. Sariah complains using "you did this" type phrases. Lehi answers with "I" messages - takes responsibility. Result: verse 6 "after his manner of language did my father, Lehi, comfort my mother, Sariah"
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