The not-so-good, very bad day!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I don't usually have "bad days." But this was one of the rare days that qualify!

It started out great!! We took 8 horses in two trucks and trailers and headed to Navajo Loop up on the Red Mountain Trail. Harrison Schram was driving the second truck and had Mark Gubler and Isaac Allen along.

I had made the turn off across Highway 18. Harrison wasn't far behind, so I was surprised when he didn't come in behind me. Turns out he didn't slow down enough to make the turn, so pulled onto the right shoulder and was going to back up to make the turn.

I started walking towards the highway, and as I got within about 100 yards I whistled to get the boys' attention and tell them NOT to back up, simply make a U-turn and pull in. Well, my loud whistle was interpreted by Buck (who was in the back of the truck)as a signal to "Come!" He jumped out of the truck and started to run across the highway. But a truck was coming from the other direction and hit him, killing him instantly. It was an awful thing to witness, and then to realize my error.

The man who hit him laid down about two year's worth of tread on the road trying to stop. I was so grateful he didn't wreck in trying to avoid the collision. He was so sweet in his apology as he said in his Hispanic accent, "I'm so sorry about your doggie." I assured him it wasn't his fault and he helped me carry Buck off the shoulder and by some bushes where we laid him.

Not wanting to traumatize our riding group by the event, I talked with the boys in the truck about it a bit, assured them they didn't do anything wrong, and then we went on our horseback ride.

One of the riders was an 8 year old boy (Jake) whose birthday was the day before and we were helping him celebrate! I simply told him, "Well, my dog got hurt a little bit, but he'll be okay (he was!). Let's go ride the horses!!" This little boy didn't need to have that sad event in his memory bank.

So, the ride started out pretty well. Jake got comfortable on Silver and was riding without a tether. However, shortly before we arrived at the look out over Snow Canyon, Silver bucked and Jake went off the horse, landing on his back. I couldn't believe it!! In 6 years of riding, Silver has never bucked anyone off!! And Jake was traumatized!! Luckily, he was willing to get on behind me and we rode Zoro together. I had Jake's mom (Julie) ride Silver because she's so smooth, and then Mark pulled the empty horse behind him. All went well until we were about two thirds of the way back to the truck. Suddenly, Silver bucked again, and Julie went off into the sand. Unbelieveable!! She handled it very well, even though it was HER first time riding a horse and she was scared to death!! She got on Zoro and rode with Jake behind her. I rode Silver, who didn't dare buck with me!

Well, we got everyone home without further adventures and I was relieved! I felt badly for Julie and Jake; I was very disturbed about Silver's behavior; and I was holding in an extreme amount of sorrow about our sweet dog being killed.

When I got home I told Rod what had happened and then we drove back up, with a shovel, so we could bury Buck. I was so grateful Rod had gone with me. It was a sad time and we both cried as Rod dug the hole between two small pine trees and we carried Buck there, placed him in the hole, and covered him with the dirt. It made us think of how hard it must have been for the pioneers to bury their children and loved ones along the pioneer trail.

We are grateful for the joy we have had having Buck in our family. He served the original purpose for which we got him: to be a riding companion to Natalee when she was training Silver all alone.

Buck was SUCH a good dog. He loved to go with the horses whenever we rode and he helped the horses become totally accustomed to a dog darting in and out around their legs. He was very obedient, always stayed by my side when he would go running with me. Harrison LOVED having Buck for a running companion, too. I think nearly all of you kids have run with Buck at one time or another!

And we're grateful to have the last pictures taken of him being with Nikki sitting on Buck's back, pulling on his ears, with his patient look of, "Are we DONE yet?" never moving an inch until Nikki was done having fun with her doggie.

Nikki turns One year old on December 19th!!

I don't usually use this word. . . but it works . . .

Life is like a straw. . .
. . . YOU are the only one who can make it suck!

Judgments...

A story was related in church last week that I wanted to repeat:

A gal walked into a nutrition store to get some vitamins while she was on her cell phone. The clerk, a friend of hers, started to help her while the gal was finishing up her conversation. At one point the woman on the phone said, "Yes, I'm home..." which rather startled the clerk because she knew this woman to generally be an honest, good person. The clerk didn't want to think poorly of the gal, but this was an obvious lie.

Well, the friend finally hung up her phone and mentioned to the clerk, "We just returned from up north, attending my uncle's funeral, so I had to let my daughter know we were home..."

Wow! How many times do we KNOW that something is one way...I mean, it's OBVIOUS, isn't it??? Just to find out we didn't know as much as we thought we did...

I hope we will all be careful not to pass judgment, even when we THINK we KNOW!!

Mom's reflections...

People occasionally ask me if I'm feeling the "empty nest" syndrome. I quickly reply, "Not so much...I have 25 'kids' who come in my house every week! (piano students)" However, perhaps I am if reflecting on the past 30 years of parenting is part of the empty nest experience.

It all started a few days ago. Dallin, Dad and I were putting up our NEW Christmas tree. Talk about slick! It’s the kind where the branches fold out with a little flick of the wrist, and, of course, is pre-lit! As Dal and I were fluffing the branches, he said, “Hey! Do you realize in a couple of years we won’t be doing this anymore?!” Not missing a beat, I said, “Yeah, we’re going to get a little table to put in front of the window, and we’ll stick a little tree on it, and YOU will get this BIG tree!! Boy, our life is going to be simpler!” In retrospect, I think Dal was awakening to the fact that “things change!” And from here on out in his life, there’s going to be a lot of change!

The next day “emotions” started to be tweaked in me. Weird evaluations of the past 30 years of parenting were the order of the day. “Remember this? Boy you sure blew it! Remember that? WHAT were you thinking!?! Man, you sure weren’t a very good mother!!”

Why is it always easier to see “stupid thinking” when someone else is having a problem than it is to see when YOU are the one being sucked into it?! SHEESH. Nevertheless, that’s what was going on when Natalee called me. I am SO glad she has figured out how to talk about feelings and not just shut down like she used to! ^_^ We had a good talk about a lot of things, and then I mentioned something about feeling like I’m losing a daughter because she is up in Logan, she’s far from home, much closer to Wyatt’s family and, in my emotional state, I felt like she cared much more about HIS family than ours. (Yes, I know it was retarded thinking…)

Anyway, we were able to talk about all of our feelings about that AND other things. Like my feeling badly that we were always so stretched financially and couldn’t buy so many of the things it seemed like “EVERYONE else” had. With a little help from Natalee, I suddenly looked at things a little differently. She said she didn’t remember some of the stuff I brought up, but that she was grateful for all the things she has learned because of not always having everything she wanted.

I said, “Okay, let’s see. Each of you kids KNEW you were loved. No question there. You were given MUSIC; you were given the GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST; you were given parents who you KNEW loved each other; you were raised in a moral home. Wow! Would I trade any of those for MONEY? Nope!”

And so, these are just some of my rambling thoughts and experiences of the last couple of days. I am SO grateful for ALL that we have been blessed with, even when it may not have seemed like such a great blessing at the time!

Sometimes it takes the bifocals of time passage to help us see more clearly exactly what we have been blessed with.

I hope you’re all paying attention in your lives, and making good choices, so when you look back you will not have many regrets.

Love,
Mom

Thanksgiving 2010

We sure had a fun time up in Mapleton for Thanksgiving! Thanks to Dan and Janet (and family) for their hospitality!! We bombarded them with our clan (other than the Texas bunch) and had everyone together for Thanksgiving!! We had fun eating, playing games, watching football and visiting with cousins, aunts and uncles, and Mom and Dad Barton.

Too bad the BYU v. Utah football game didn't have a better ending!! Then it would have been a PERFECT weekend!

Oh well, next year!

Peter Pan himself!

Because it rains when we wish it wouldn't,
Because men do what they often shouldn't,
Because crops fail, and plans go wrong
Some of us grumble all day long.
But somehow, in spite of the care and doubt,
It seems at the last that things work out.

Because we lose where we hoped to gain,
Because we suffer a little pain,
Because we must work when we'd like to play
Some of us whimper along life's way.
But somehow, as day always follows the night,
Most of our troubles work out all right.

Because we cannot forever smile,
Because we must trudge in the dust awhile,
Because we think that the way is long
Some of us whimper that life's all wrong.
But somehow we live and our sky grows bright,
And everything seems to work out all right.

So bend to your trouble and meet your care,
For the clouds must break, and the sky grow fair.
Let the rain come down, as it must and will,
But keep on working and hoping still.
For in spite of the grumblers who stand about,
Somehow, it seems, all things work out.

FAITH IN CHRIST

I wish I could remember what CD I was listening to...I think it was one of Uncle Kim's talks at BYU-Idaho. Anyway, it really made an impact on me, so I wrote it down on the back of a Wal-Mart receipt. Good thing is was a long receipt!!

"Faith in Christ is inextricably tied to, and results in, hope in Christ for our redemption and exaltation. And assurance and hope make it possible for us to walk to the edge of light, and take a few steps into the darkness, expecting and trusting the light to move and illuminate the way. The combination of assurance and hope initiates action in the present."

10:30 p.m. Sunday evening...have just a minute to do some writing...

Last Sunday I came home from the 4-day stint up north for the piano competition.
I need to learn to CHILL regarding this whole thing!! I think this year I really got psyched out (due to a couple of non-related, but related incidents.) Too bad things aren't as clear DURING the fact as they are AFTER the fact!! Someday maybe I'll get a clue about life!!

The judges really enjoyed the lunch Linda prepared for us, this year with at least a little more notice than last year. Even with the planning we barely had 20 minutes to eat, grab some bowls of soup for one of the judges and two other ladies who "got lost" and barely had time to get to the hotel, set down bags, and dash off to the university.

The second day I spaced leaving one of the judges at the hotel, remembered 10 minutes before we were to start, had to FLY back to the hotel and we were only 10 minutes late getting started.

Uhmmmm, and this year was my "parking ticket" spectacular! Got one on Temple Square when one of the judges and I went to the Tabernacle Choir rehearsal on Thursday evening. It was AMAZING, but the ticket was uncalled for...just because I parked where it said "carriage parking" and there was no carriage there...

And then I got another at the university when I parked where the ticket booth person said I could because I was late with the judge...how was I supposed to know I was parking in a fire zone??? There were 4 other cars parked there and I parked in between them?!?!

I paid the Temple Square one and am appealing the University one. ^_^

The competition really is enjoyable to me once things get going. It's just long!! Three days worth of listening to CRAZY AMAZING PIANO PERFORMANCES is something else!

AND, when the judges say they just heard the two most amazing performances of their LIVES, is really saying something!!

So, enough about last week...

Dallin's first matinée for PETER PAN went remarkably well! Maybe I'm just a proud mom, but I think Dallin is doing a GREAT job as Peter Pan. AND he flies really well too! We're looking forward to Opening Night this week! (Nov. 18th) AND we're looking forward to family coming down to support Dallin, too! (I'll start taking some pictures and video so I can post it for Jaimi and Mike to see.)

Love,
Mom