INTROSPECTION. . .

This month has been a busy one, lots of different things going on, but that never seems to stop my brain from kicking into gear about lots of different things.

Due to some events that will go unnamed I have thought a lot about myself...kinda second-guessing...which isn't necessarily a good thing, or a bad thing.  I guess it just depends on where it takes you.  Of late I have thought that in a few different situations I may have said or done the wrong thing.  And that has caused some sore contemplation.


 I have said aloud a few times, "I feel like a blundering idiot!"  I know that isn't necessarily true or productive, but it is a statement of my feelings.  And the verbalization that: I don't KNOW, from an educational point of view, things I wish I knew.    Or perhaps I do, and just don't know that I know it.  Either way I have felt a bit inept, psychologically speaking.

Maybe none of this makes sense to anyone else (other than my husband, who has always been a good sounding board), but I suddenly felt inspired to "take a psychology class."  I just wish the inspiration could have come ONE DAY EARLIER...then I wouldn't have had to pay the $50 late fee that began the day I registered!  Rats!!!  Oh well, at least I'm doing it.  I won't go into all the details of the sections of class I went to the first couple of days, and changing of classes, to find the ONE class I should be taking this semester.   But I did find it, and I'm enjoying the academic educational process.  If for no other reason than discovering through book learning the many things I have learned through life living!!  It's amazing!  The things I just "know."  But my professor is VERY good at explaining things and helping piece everything together!

I guess the thing I've learned, continue to learn, through this is that it's okay...it's IMPORTANT...to look inside ourselves and see what needs to be changed.  Maybe it's nothing BAD or a sin...but still some growth that needs to take place.  Maybe there have been lots of people praying that someday I'll "get it" and perhaps that day is coming.  Until then, I continue to stumble along, with everyone else, and try to do the best I can.