When I was a young teenager I received my Patriarchal Blessing. In it, among other things, I was told to listen to important advice from my parents because they were especially chosen for me.
I have read that blessing many times over the past 42 years
since receiving it, and it has given me much to think about. It did not tell me my parents were perfect,
or that their advice would be perfect, but that I should listen to “important
advice” because my parents were “especially chosen” for me.
I was a “pleaser” growing up. My mom would tell others that I was the “perfect
child" because I never rebelled as a teenager. Oops! I just waited until I was
in my 20’s and realized I didn't know who I was…because I had always listened
to “the committee” called my MOTHER!
Now, that isn't necessarily a bad thing…unless it stunts
your growth because you have NO IDEA of who you are. Was this my mom’s fault? Perhaps, a little. Was it my fault? Perhaps, a little. Neither of us knew better, so we were just
doing the best we could.
Fast forward many years to the present. I think about “the committee” more and
more. We all listen to one committee or
another. And I think the most important
thing is for us to recognize who we are listening to, discerning if it is good
and right, and then making the changes necessary in our life.
I made a list of the different “committees” I've heard and
listened to in my life:
Co-workers, acquaintances, neighbors, ward members, friends,
extended family, siblings, parents, church leaders, general
authorities, the prophet, our Savior, and our Heavenly Father.
Sometimes we have “less important committees” saying things
that make us feel good for the moment because they agree with what we want to
hear. Sometimes the “important”
committee is rejected because what it is saying is in conflict with what we
want to do.
I think the most important thing we can do is be honest with
ourselves. Really look at who and what
we listen to for advice and direction. We’re
here on the earth to discover who WE are …what WE want to do with our life. We have been given many resources in our
lives (“committees”) to help us, but ultimately, each of us, individually, must
decide for ourselves what we will do.
It can be very difficult at times, especially if we are “pleasers”
and don’t recognize that by “pleasing” and not really knowing who we are and
what WE want, we our sacrificing our self on the altar of ignorance. This is not a good sacrifice.
But it is equally important to search out the one PERFECT committee...One that has not changed from the beginning of time...Who loves us beyond our comprehension, and who can guide us perfectly, if we will let Him.
When we know who we are, and what we want, then we can
knowingly sacrifice our less-important wants/desires for something better. Doing good things for the right reasons is
much better than merely pleasing!
I love you tons, sweet adorable childrens o' mine!
Love,
Mom
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