In our Sunday School (strengthening marriages) class, we were given a list of rules for discussing problems. It was interesting to Dad and I that we already do these things. We think the suggestions are good for EVERYONE who is trying to improve family relationships!
1. Decide on a time and place to talk (Dad and I always talked in our room, or on a drive. Do any of you kids remember Dad and I ever having a problem in front of you?)
2. Stay on topic. If needed, write down your points of view. Don't get side-tracked with other things that are bothering you. (A LONG time ago, we listened to a tape with similar counsel...don't bring an arsenal to throw at the other person by dredging up all kinds of memories from the past...)
3. Speak softly
4. Take a break, if necessary.
5. Be kind.
6. Use appropriate language. Profanity and name-calling are offensive, demeaning and abusive.
7. Do not use violence.
8. NEVER threaten divorce or separation. Decide now to never allow those words to cross your mind, or your lips.
9. Seek spiritual help.
10. Rest and try again. If you cannot solve a problem in a short period of time, agree to revisit it later.
This is a short list, but there are some excellent suggestions. I'm also going to look for a brochure that Dad and I got a few weeks after we were married...on our honeymoon we heard a commercial from the church about the "Divorce Bug" and to call for a free copy. When we got home I did. The brochure had some great recommendations. I know I still have it. So, when I find it, I'll write them down.
Love,
Mom
1 comment:
Is this the class my grandparents teach? I wish I could take that class from them, they have always been the best example of a loving marriage that has stood the test of time. Mike and I strive to have a marriage like theirs.
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