December 1, 2013

NOVEMBER...and Giving Thanks!

November held many memorable experiences for us:

1.  Meeting the Stewarts from Nova Scotia where Dallin is serving his mission.

2.  Celebrating Denzel's birthday by holding the 1st Annual "I Run With Denz" 4k (no, not 5k!)

3.  Remembering my Dad's birthday on our window!!

4.  Being grateful for ALL of our many blessings, all of the time!!

5.  Having a fun Thanksgiving morning horseback ride with Kristy, Junehee (Kristy's friend from Korea), and Natalee.  Missed having Amelia along, but SOMEONE had to cook the turkey!!
6.  Love being in Hans' and Amelia's new home AND having Thanksgiving there!!  Beautiful home, fun kids, great food, only missed the family members NOT there ... a TON!!   

October 19, 2013

It's the Little Things!!!

I wish my thoughts could suddenly transition into the written word, without having to go through the whole process of how to word things!  I should have paid more attention in my high school English class!!

Each Fall is a "love/hate" relationship for me...or more like a "love/ugh" relationship.  Rod and I both LOVE the feelings of Autumn...the cooler air, the changing of seasons, football, the upcoming holidays, and the many memories of years gone by that are at times instantly recalled by a smell, or many wonderful associations.  At the same time, it is the most hectic time of year for me...especially THIS year since I'm taking a psychology class at DSU.  I love the class, but the increased demand on my time is hard to allocate, as I get my 28 piano students ready for our Fall Recital AND evaluations...and do the final preparations for the statewide instrumental competition that I chair...and make at least two trips up north monthly from August til November!

Each evening, after finishing teaching, all I feel like doing is sitting on the couch next to my husband and falling asleep.  That doesn't happen very often, at least not the sleeping part, but being able to regroup with my husband is very nice and rejuvenating.  Often, our talk circles around and ends up on something about Denzel.  Sometimes we cry; sometimes we are just grateful for so many good memories.  And then I wonder how long Denzel's death will have an affect on me, on Rod, on our family.  Probably always, in some form or another.  I am very observant of myself...if that makes I wonder if I use Denzel's death as an "excuse" for one thing or another.  So far I truly don't think so.  I think it's important to be aware that his death HAS had an affect on my life (and our family's life), and deal with all that might entail.  But then move past, and continue to function and do much good.  It's just a strange place to be sometimes.

Soooo, with that said, I'd just like to share some of the things that make me smile, that make my heart happy, and for which I thank Heavenly Father:
Listening to the waterfall through the kitchen window, when it's too warm to lie on the hammock outside,...yetwith the cooler weather, I am SO excited to enjoy the peace of a nap on the hammock!!!

When we had the waterfall fixed, and the extra vegetation put in, the bermuda grass in our lawn started to REALLY bother me.  Rod graciously agreed that it would be a good idea to kill off the grass and put in new sod.  So, the work, and the anticipation of our new grass has been a good thing.

Going to one of Rj's football games for Dixie State University during the priesthood session
 of Conference was a blast!!  I always love being with my girls!

Dezmond is such a SWEET part of our lives!!  Especially when he discovered the joy of mini-cupcakes and ICING, thanks to Aunt Nat!

Another wonderful part of our lives is the blessing of the horses, and the many times I get to ride and share them with family... friends who have become family... and even people we've just met!  It is an amazing gift from our Heavenly Father, and the only way I feel we can adequately tell Him "thank-you" for this gift in our lives is by sharing!!  So we share, a LOT!!!
Jennifer Bowen, Rochelle & Kennedy Buhler, and Me on Anasazi Ridge, looking at the petroglyphs.

Kennedy loves riding with Grandma Trice...and I love riding with her!!
And we love all the time we get with Dezmond, AND his mom and dad!!  For some reason Dezmond likes eating at Grandma's house...perhaps because he gets to eat rice out of the pot,and he gets to bang pan lids together!!

I get to make memories with piano students each week, and sometimes they even go riding with me!!  It's even more fun to watch them grow up and prepare to serve missions!!
Me and Alex Tucker overlooking Snow Canyon.
And we are LOVING training our two babies, Stormy and Kodiak!!  We've waited two and a half years for this!!!
Rod and I discovered a new "fun thing" to do this summer!  We love going sailing out on Sand Hollow Reservoir with our sailing friends!!  We're looking forward to next spring and summer!!

And we have been blessed to have a new puppy!!!  She has been so much fun and we LOVE the fact that she doesn't shed!!  We have always enjoyed having animals, but I REALLY don't like dog hair in the house.  Jaida is perfect for us!!

And so we come full circle...there are so many things Rod and I feel blessed to have in our lives.  Yes, there are times that are hard, difficult, painful, embarrassing, frustrating, hurtful, boring, and even disturbing.  But there are so many other wonderful, healing, funny, enjoyable, uplifting, encouraging, and motivating things to be a part of that this is what we choose to focus on.  And mostly we are thankful for each other, for our children (and their families) AND the gospel of Jesus Christ!!!

October 1, 2013

Special Days with Dezmond!

Can I just say how much I enjoy being with Dezmond!!  I love ALL of my grandkids, but Dezmond is here in St. George, and so I get to spend a lot more time with him, and I love that!!

Last week he and I went grocery shopping.
When the cart started running out of room I found the perfect perch for him!!  He loved being able to see where we were going, and he seemed to enjoy his comfortable seat....especially when I opened the bag of sliced french bread, and we shared a few pieces.  After checking out, it took TWO carts to get everything outside.

And then one night we had sausage casserole for dinner, and the Kirchhausen's came over, along with Julie Schram.  The casserole didn't turn out as good as it usually does, but Dezmond LOVED it!  So what else matters.


Kitchen sink Clean-up!!

 Last Friday Dezmond (and his mom) went horseback riding with me.  He LOVED it!!  The whole time Dezmond would hum to the rhythm of the horse.  If we were walking, it was a slow, "huuum-huuum-huuum-huuum" but if we were galloping, it became a much faster "hum-hum-hum-hum!"  We all enjoyed that ride!!

 Today he came swimming with me and Jaida (Mil came too!)  Even though the water was cold, he loved playing in it and with Jaida, too!  Then, Dezmond helped me teach my piano students this afternoon, and made sure all of my sticky notes covered the floor, and he redistributed many of the books on the bookshelf after he played the piano, the bells, and the timer!!  (Yes, the timer "plays" when you hit the buttons that beep over and over!!)

I tell you, this boy does my heart good!!  

September 29, 2013


It seems we go "up north" a LOT!  Oh wait, we DO!!!  This weekend's trip was another having to do with Denzel.

Dad and I had originally planned to leave on Friday, but things changed.  Instead of leaving Friday, I took Amelia and Dezmond, and one of my piano students (Audrey Godfrey), and another neighbor girl (McKenna Staheli) horseback riding!!  And then Friday evening was spent at home, relaxing, having a late dinner, moving/organizing stuff in the garage, and then sleeping in on Saturday morning!!!  (Yes, 7:00 is sleeping in!!)  Dad and I did some yard work, played with Jaida, then Dad went to the Swiss Days Parade with Nat and I went to Colin Ence's (piano student) soccer game.  I'm SO glad I did.  His father had to be in the parade (he's a city councilman), and his siblings went to the parade with the grandparents, so mom and baby sister were the only ones at his game.  But then his PIANO TEACHER came to watch him play.
During a timeout he came over to give me a hug, and I told him "You will ALWAYS be more important than Swiss Days!!"  And he played a great game!

After the parade and game, Nat and I went horseback riding...just the two of us.  That doesn't happen very often and we really enjoyed our ride out to Snow Canyon!  When we got back, Nat helped me plant a bunch of broccoli and cauliflower in the community should have been done two weeks ago, but I just keep running out of time.  Hopefully it will be "blessed" and catch up in the growth department before it gets too cold!!

Dad and I FINALLY got on the road a little after 6 in at the Springville Barton's after 10, watched some football, then headed to bed.

  Sunday we went to church in Salt Lake City with the Madsen's.  Erika came up from BYU, too, so that was a lot of fun.  They loved meeting Jaida, and Zeus seemed to enjoy her, too!  We had dinner with Kent, Trish, Dane and Erika after church.  It was delicious, and we felt bad we had to rush...but we only had 30 minutes to get down to Camp Williams...we made it with two minutes to spare!

There were two empty chairs next to a woman also wearing a gold star, so Rod and I sat by her, and I asked about her son.  He had died in April of this year.  I put my arms around her and said, "Ohhhh, I'm so sorry.  You're still raw!!"

We talked a bit here and there after the meeting began, and I discovered she was there alone because her husband had to be in Logan with a couple of their other children.  What a brave woman Pat Gannon is!  Her son died in a firearms accident at a base back East.  He had recently enlisted.  Sad!  Pat spoke just before I did.

The entire event was wonderful!!  I'm so glad Sean Colmenero said, "Mom!  You're going!!" when I was initially hesitant about making yet another trip to Salt Lake, and having to deal with MORE emotions.  It was good to hear different stories of military sons, the loss felt by their families, and to feel the camaraderie of each other.  There were several patriotic musical numbers performed by the City Church Worship Band, and they were each very well done.  And I enjoyed being able to talk about Denzel.  I hope it was beneficial to others there.

When we first walked in, there was a black couple ahead of us.  The mom did not speak in the meeting, but I noticed she and her husband were wearing Gold Stars.  I made my way over to them after the program.  They were kind of hanging back, not really talking with anyone.  I said, "You didn't speak, but I would really like to hear your story."  I am SO glad I did.  There are details I can't really write about in a public forum, but I felt very honored that they would share their story with me.  Life can be VERY hard at times!!  I invited them to come to St. George...we need to do a therapy ride...or twenty!!!  And I was reminded, again, how important it is to FORGIVE!!

Dad and I enjoyed talking with so many people after the event, AND we got to see the 9/11 Memorial that is making its way across the country.  There was a HUGE American flag over the semi-truck carrying the memorial and the 7 ton chunk of one of the Twin Towers.  It was rather impressive.  And the Marine bulldog, "Gunner" was impressed that Jaida was there, too!  *_*

Well, that about sums it up.  Another great experience...reminding us how much we love, and miss, Denzel!!

* * * *

Ssg. Roderick Denzel Hunt was born November 17, 1980, in Provo, Utah.  He died April 29th, 2012 in Riverton, Utah.  He was the oldest of 7 the seven children born to my husband, Rod, and myself.

We should have known from an early age that Denzel would do well in the military.  At three and four years old he would throw rocks like all the other kids.  The only difference is he would HIT HIS TARGET, whether it be the neighbor’s brand new truck when it was driving by, or the friend’s older brother who threw rocks at Denz, but missed.  It seems we were always having to apologize to someone for Denzel’s uncanny ability to hit that at which he aimed.

When he was a teenager, the big fad was paintball guns.  Denzel dreamed of owning one like all of his friends.  He was sure he would never get one because we didn’t have a lot of money, but he still wrote a letter to “Santa”  (at 14 years of age!) telling him how badly he wanted that gun.  Denzel wrote some journal entries, which I recently came across, dated December of 1994…EIGHT in all describing how much he wanted the paintball gun, how he didn’t think he’d get it, how he hinted at it…tried to plant all kinds of ideas in his parents’ head, etc.  And then, his Christmas Eve entry detailed how his parents hadn’t given any indication about buying a paintball gun, but there was “still a chance” he might get it.  Later he wrote about Christmas morning…waiting for the parents to get up, looking through the wrapped presents for the right-sized box, and the disappointment of not getting the gun.  However, when he opened a small present, it contained a gun barrel; the next present held the hand grip, another had the site, and on and on.  He got his paintball gun, and he wrote how it was the best Christmas ever!

The downside of the paintball gun was Denzel's subsequent target shooting practice!  He used Brandon, his 11 year old brother. . . and Denzel didn’t miss then, either.

Fast forward over the years and Denzel joined the 222nd Field Artillery, also known as the Triple Deuce in St. George, Utah.  He found a great niche with this unit, and it became his second family.  He loved when they would have “family day” at the armory so he could show his family all the cool stuff he got PAID to do.  He especially enjoyed showing off “THE GUN.”  I made the mistake, once, of calling it a tank.  Denzel explained nicely, but firmly, “Mom, it’s NOT a tank…it is a GUN.”

And then came several deployments.  The first was to help with security for the Olympics.  It was fun to travel up north for this once-in-a-lifetime event, AND to see our son serving his country at the same time. 
The second deployment was stateside, then the third deployment came and off to Iraq he went.  

We always kept an open communication, and war was no different.  The first email we received from our son told a little about his flight to Iraq, and that he was there.  Then it proceeded to say, “Now, if you’re going to freak out about stuff…DON’T READ THE REST OF THIS EMAIL.”

Of course, I read the rest of the email which told of an incoming missile  that apparently wasn't “that close,” but due to them being new in-country and in an actual war zone, he and his buddies all hit the ground like they had been taught.  The only damage done was to their egos…as all the other guys who were used to this day in and day out occurrence just looked at the guys on the ground and said, “Yeah, they’re new!” and went on their way.

I thought the incident rather humorous, but I responded to the initial statement about “freaking out.”  I boldly said in all CAPS:  “DO YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER???  DO I FREAK OUT ABOUT STUFF???  NO!!  I WANT DETAILS!!” 

My feeling was, all of these guys are in the same boat, going through the same, sometimes harrowing, experiences.  And as a mother, I KNEW my son would need to de-brief at times and not worry that his mom would freak out if he told her some tough stuff.  And he did need to debrief! 

One of Denzel's phone calls was about the
high-tension cable that snapped, nearly decapitating 
TJ Larsen, as Denzel watched!  Very traumatic for both!!
There were times it was just nice for him to call home and tell us about his activities.  Other times he needed to talk.   Sometimes he’d call and say, “I’m okay…I just need to tell you what happened today.”  One time he called and said, “We just got attacked by a suicide bomber.  We’re okay, but this guy blew himself up by our mess tent…and, well, I just needed to hear your voice.”

Denzel saying good-bye before his second deployment to Iraq in 2011
One very memorable phone call told about the 90 minute drive from his foot patrol assignment to the military base.  This was always a very dangerous drive.  One day Denzel’s unit was 15 minutes behind the convoy in front of them, which was standard procedure, leaving little time between convoys.  As his unit traveled on high alert for IED’s, Denzel spotted a body lying in the road.   He radioed ahead and the front convoy had not seen a body in the same area.  Following protocol, the unit kept their distance and radioed for the bomb squad to come. 

One of Denzel’s guys asked permission to “just hook onto the body and pull it out of the road” so they could continue on.  Denz later told me, “Mom, I just had the worst feeling when I considered going and dragging the body out of the way.  So, I waited for the bomb guys to get there.  Sure enough, it turns out the ‘body’ was a dummy rigged with a bunch of explosives.  If we would have tried to move it, the remote detonator would have been set off and it would have killed whoever tried to move it.”

I was so glad for his safety, but I was also grateful that he could call and talk to me and his father about difficult things.

Now, the last month of Denzel’s life we talked nearly every day.  Denzel had returned from his second deployment to Iraq a few months previous, and continued teaching as an Instructor at Camp Williams.   He was dealing with some difficult things.  He wanted to get help, but told me, “Mom, I can’t until I get my Lieutenant commission.  I’ll have it in a few weeks, then I can get some help.”

Well, a series of events escalated on Sunday, April 29th, and he ended his life.  He had two weeks until his commission went through…but it was two weeks too late.

All those who knew and loved Denzel have missed him every day since that awful night.  However, we also know that a tremendous amount of good has come about because of the things learned after his death and because of his death.

The pain of losing our son has been extreme.  We love him.  We miss him.  But his death has also made our hearts more compassionate to others who have experienced loss in their lives.  No, it’s not the “same” for anyone, but it is loss, and we have extra empathy for all those who get hit with this extremely difficult experience.  God bless each of you.